Wednesday, April 27, 2011

blissful practice

While I dance I cannot judge, I cannot hate, I cannot separate myself from life. I can only be joyful and whole. That is why I dance."
-Hans Bos

We all have something that facilitates the release of energy.
Some people have yoga, some, the gym. Others run. Me, I've tried all of those, and I've enjoyed them, but none of those have clicked into the practice that I would want to do for the rest of my life.

For me, it's dance.
Absolutely heart and soul centered, frantic, fun, and conscious dance.
When I moved to Vancouver I was excited to start Nia, but alas, after 10 classes, I enjoyed it, but felt bored by the steps, the repetition, the obvious "way" that was expected, but not pushed.

Then a couple months later I found Kundalini. Now, if you ever have a conversation with me about Kundalini dance, my voice gets louder, you can hear the excitement, the yearning to dance again, the awe and gratitude that I feel for it.

I can truly say that Kundalini Dance has changed my life.
It has opened up the door for my own self exploration. Through it, I learn about my body, in its movement, and its stillness. I learn to open my heart a little bit wider and fuller with each breath. I learn about what powerful chakra centers I have and how they need to be unblocked, emptied, and then filled with pure energy from Shakti.

And oh, have I struggled through it sometimes... My throat chakra, the hardest one to work through, coughs and sputters and looses the ability to gracefully work through the movements. But then, usually someone hits the clearing point a bit sooner and lets a scream, or flutter, or yowl out, and soon, the energy shifts so we all let it free, and clear it through yips and hollers, tongue rolls and cheers.
I love that moment. It's pure bliss when you can scream uninhibited, or tongue roll your heart out. What a release.

And then there are those moments that really hit you in your core centre. Those moments where nothing else matters in the world. Not good, nor bad, just this one blissed out moment of pure energy pumping through your chakras, electrifying your body with gold, sparkling light, where you've connected with Mother Earth and Spirit and have become one, if only for a second. For me it's the feeling of "Yes, I forgot what you felt like, but everything is balanced, pure, and whole for this moment."

Today, as the world works, I have said goodbye to Kundalini for the time being, as there are only maybe 10-15 instructors in the world, and my dear one Christine, has moved out of Vancouver.

So that brings me to today. I have found 5 Rhythms-Soulful Steps in Vancouver.
Three Saturdays ago I went to a Intro class to feel it out. And the next day I went into work and booked off my Wednesdays to be off at 5pm so I can make this a weekly practice for myself.

It feels as though my heart will always lie with Kundalini, like a girl always thinks of her first love. But I'm open to 5 Rhythms, and am excited to see where it takes me. To feel the energy course through my body. To make a new community simply by looking into another's eyes to feel connection. To open up parts of myself through working with others. Tonight, I connected with a lovely girl my age as we danced back to back, letting our bodies slide, connect, interact with love. Yet, who knows if I'll ever see her again. It doesn't even matter, cause that connection is what was meant to be, nothing else, until we turn it into a more human-social form.

For me it's the moments of release. Of flicking that energy out of my fingertips, of throwing my head around, whirling dervishly around the room- letting all droplets of my day, week, and worry fall to the floor to transmute into inner stillness for 2 hours. 2 hours that I am me. Purely, Fully, Uninhibited.
For that I am grateful. To feel the beat and the rhythm course through me, so that I can release, be at peace and feel heart centered bliss in each moment.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

a new beginning of me

So I started a blog....?! what?! I say to myself, a blog?

But yes, I've been thinking about it for over 2 weeks. And 2 days after my first thought of starting one, I met this wonderful new friend Caitlin, and it turns out she has a blog, and my oh my is it ever great!
And it started to give me the courage to want and now make my own.
As I was ignoring my wanting, the wanting seems to get larger, louder, more persistent...
"It's only my thoughts" I would say to myself...but my thoughts on the internet? For everyone to read?
I've always had a lot of rambling in my head. I think, I dream, I process about the world and all its beauty...and darkness.... But who hasn't?
But after 2 weeks of processing about blogging, doing my own spiritual work, then holidaying with my family, I've made the choice, and here it is.
I've come to a place within me that I want to speak it out loud.
And sometimes I want to shout things from the rooftop!
Like today, we had 2 beautiful Golden Retrievers in the house and all I wanted to shout was
"I LOVE puppies!" "I Loove puppy tails!"
They (yes, them and their tails) bring such blissful joy to my moment. Their soft hair, their tricks, and their playfulness, which in turn make me indulge their and my own rambunctiousness. I love it. It's pure bliss interacting with a puppy.

So this is it. I've committed myself.
I'm going to ramble, and write. and post songs, and pictures, and give insight on what I think and feel in my everyday life. Cause why not, I ask?

Oh, and by the way. Part of the reason I didn't want to start a blog is because I'm not great at spelling and grammar...but I'll spell check for you and my own learning, but I'll also write freely and let everything come and float down like a feather in sunlight, free and peaceful.

I welcome myself a new world of blogging, and I welcome you as my readers.

And check out Caitlin's wonderful blog too:

Have a fantastic week ahead.